Joke: Daddy

A man at work calls home and his 8 years old daughter picks the phone:

“Hi honey,this is daddy.Is mommy near the phone?”

“No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quipped.

“After a brief pause daddy says,“But honey you haven’t got an uncle Paul!”

“Oh yes I do,and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now.” Brief pause,

“Uh okay then,this is what I want you to do:put the phone down onthe table,run upstairs,knock on the bedroom door,and shout to mommy that daddy’s car has just arrived at the gate.”

“Ok daddy just a minute....” A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, “Done it daddy. ”

"What happened honey?”

“Well, mommy got scared and jumped out of the bed naked,ran round the room screaming,tripped over,and knocked her head on the staircase,now she is not moving at all.”

“What about Uncle Paul?” asked Dad.

"He jumped out the window into the swimming pool,but I guess he didn’t know you emptied the water last week.He hit the bottom and I think he’s dead.”

After a really long pause this time...Daddy says,“Swimming pool? but we don't have a swimming pool! Is this 486-5731?”

“No,this is 486-5713”

“Sorry wrong number....!!!!”
Bye,

Unnecessary But Fascinating Facts

We learn something useful everyday and think we gained some knowledge. I came across some interesting facts, which may not be useful but are fun to know. Here are some unnecessary but fascinating facts collected from internet which are cool to read at leisure.

• The largest number of children born to one woman, who was a Russian peasant is 69.
• “Bookkeeper” is the only word in the English language that has 3 letters that consecutively repeat.
• The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
• Turtles can actually breathe through their butts.
• 315 entries in Webster’s 1996 dictionary were misspelled.
• A kangaroo can only jump if its tail is touching the ground.
• A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off - it dies from starvation
• A giraffe can run faster than a horse, and can live without water longer than a camel.
• Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite
• Polar bears are left-handed.
There are more Chickens than Human in the World.
• Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
• February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
• If you keep a Goldfish in a darkroom it will eventually turn White.
• Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
• The brain continues sending electrical wave signals for 37 hours after death.
• The loudest creature on the planet is the blue whale. Its record is 188 decibels!
• Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.

These Facts might not important, Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.

Urs,

Lesson In Life

A wise man once sat in the audience and cracked a joke.. all of them laughed like crazy..

After a moment he cracked the same joke again & a little less people laughed this time...

He cracked the same one again & no one laughed !!!

Then he smiled and said ''when you can't laugh on the same joke again & again then why do you keep crying over the same thing over & over again''

FORGET the past and MOVE ON .........

Urs,

This is how business is done !

Well guys, you all have seen and know how business runs…I am here again with a small story of Laloo Prasad Yadav’s, talks to his son about his marriage.

Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I want to choose my own bride".
Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...... Yes"

Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani

Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes"

Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President :"But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes."

This is how business is done…J

What would make you happy?

This is a question I found somewhere while browsing. For a second I thought what a question it is to ask. Initially I thought it was a fool question. But it was only when i started to think of an answer not able to give a complete answer.

Well what makes you happy...

Few answers I thought are below:

1. Spending ample time with my husband.

2. Making webcam chat with my parents and family members.

3. Watching and playing with my niece.

4. Chatting with old school and college friends in phone or online.

5. When I see my favorites food dishes when I’m hungry.

6. When I see an innocent baby smile.

7. When my husband gives me surprises.

8. When I eat chocolates, ice creams and sweets.

9. When I look at my childhood pictures.

10. When I capture things with my camera.

11. Help a neighbor or friend with something.

12. Humming my favorite songs.

13. Post on my Facebook page. (How can I forget this?)

14. Blast out with my favorite music and dance around with no regard for rhythm or appearance.

15. Paint my hand and toe nails with all bright and light colors.

16. Watch my own made videos. (Really very funny)

17. Go out for shopping with my close friends.

18. Making new friends.

19. When my blog view count increases(:P).

20. When I see any comments for my blog posts.

19. Watching uplifting videos like the below ones:

well the list goes on...

Can anyone think of what makes you happy.....

Cheers,

Take a Break, Laugh and Waste Some Time!

Today I am sharing something which will make you laugh :D :)

This is Ultimate.... .. I bet u can't stop laughing. These are profiles taken from shaadi.com these are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this..

Hello To Viewers My Name is Sanjay, I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore .. if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Sanjay~*~

(Truly yours)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i

love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am simple girl. I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck. now i am looking one girl she care me and love me lot lot lot.

(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? What the hell...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)
Infact she doesn't know wat she wants ?.. ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of 'ok'. The person is Suffering from 'Ok-syndrome' )
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(Height of desperation! )
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily. i divorced my first wife. his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ....(but credit cards not accepted..?? ?)

(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit's????? ?? Is there anything like that.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you

(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife should be as 'Shivani' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as in KSBKBT......

(Ok I have seen these soaps/serials but I am sure he must be demanding too much,ain't he?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
she should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have one brother and one sister. she should be educated.

(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent. iam doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she havea frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey. I Think the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are
beautiful. but iam not a handsome guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good guy. My father already expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR.
bye bye.

(Complete Man )
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm looking out for who lives in bombay , girl simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
to be married on jan-2006. working woman perferable

(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a bride.I wish him best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get one soon.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure. because girl is the maharani.

(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying salary at present.

(Any takers again?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.

(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  Urs,

Funny Full Forms Of Some International Companies

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

20. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technicians Enrooted to Kabaarkhana

21.PATNI : Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments 

Urs,

Sudha Rani